Divorce is an emotionally overwhelming process, as well as a lonely experience even when children are involved. Many people going through a stressful divorce re-enter the dating scene to take their mind off the contentious proceedings and feel loved again.
But as much as you might believe it’s perfectly fine to get a head start on a new chapter in life, it is best to avoid getting involved with a new romantic partner until after your divorce is over. Dating during a divorce can have a negative impact on a wide variety of issues.
The following are several reasons why it is a bad idea to date while divorcing:
- Seen as adultery – If you start dating before you have physically separated from your spouse, the new relationship could be viewed as adultery and perhaps a reason why the marriage failed. Adultery does not directly affect the terms of divorce in Oklahoma, but using marital assets to support an extramarital affair can result in a judge awarding more of the marital assets to your spouse.
- Increase conflict – Dating someone new could spark jealously from your spouse, who may seek revenge by making the divorce process more contentious, longer, and more expensive than it should be.
- Harm your kids – Divorce is extremely hard on everyone involved, especially the kids. Your children will probably need more attention and love than ever before. Not only does dating take time away from being with your kids, but your spouse may use your actions against you in order to obtain primary custody.
- Not fair to your new partner – The new person in your life may be open to scrutiny by being in the middle of your divorce. Additionally, any person who has frequent contact with your kids can be subject to a custody investigation. Exposing someone you’re dating to this type of situation can put a damper on the new relationship.
- You are not ready – Although dating can distract you from the frustration and pain of divorce, you will eventually need to confront those emotions. Despite feeling good and wanted once again, you are most likely not emotionally ready to devote yourself to another person. You may still need to deal with all of the issues which caused the end of your marriage, make peace with everything after divorce is finalized, and allow yourself to heal.
While dating is not a good idea, there is no harm in socializing. However, if you meet someone of romantic interest, be upfront about your situation and avoid taking things any further until after your divorce is finalized.
If you are feeling depressed in lonely, rely on your support group of friends and family for company. Seek professional help if such feelings are negatively affecting your day-to-day life.