When many of us think of divorce, we often associate the word with a variety of myths that have permeated social discourse and pop culture. We tend to think of them as expensive, stress-ridden, prolonged battles. While this is certainly the case for some, it is not so for everyone. Divorce is just as unique a process as the individuals involved, so sweeping generalizations do a great disservice to those considering it for themselves.
Here are some of those common divorce myths you will encounter:
- Having a Baby Can Save Your Marriage: This is a mistake many people commonly make, but it is never a wise decision to have a child as a means of preventing divorce. A child should never be used as a bandage, especially if it seems your marriage is headed toward a divorce. A new baby might add to your problems or only stall the inevitable. Children are a great addition to a family, but only for the right reasons, and fixing a marriage is definitely not one of them.
- Divorce is Expensive: Sure, some of them are, but it all depends on your situation. Your divorce does not have to go through litigation, which can indeed be pricey. A mediator or arbitrator will work with both spouses to facilitate a mutually agreeable settlement and prepare the paperwork for it. Unlike a court battle, which has an inherently adversarial tone, mediation and arbitration encourage cooperation and a willingness to negotiate.
- The Social Stigma of Divorce: In the past, divorce had a social stigma attached to it, but that was at a time when it was considered rare. Today, more than 40% to 50% of marriages end in divorce, making it a common and accepted occurrence. Divorce can be emotionally difficult, but you really should not worry about social stigma.
- Mothers Always Get Custody of the Children: This is another thing of the past. The legal system no longer plays favorites based on gender, but rather seeks to serve the best interests of the child, which usually means joint custody if both parents are fit to be in a child’s life.
- Disagreements Lead to Divorce: Everyone disagrees and you will be hard pressed to find any person on this earth with whom you will agree 100% of the time. Just because you get into an argument with your spouse does not mean your marriage has reached its end. Having a disagreement or argument now and then is completely natural and sometimes quite healthy. The key is to always respect each other’s difference in opinions and understand that marriage is not a fairytale.
- One Person is Generally at Fault for a Divorce: It might feel better to be able to place all the blame on one spouse and relieve yourself of any responsibility or accountability for your own contributions, but the fact is that it takes two to make a marriage fail. Both of you are necessary for a marriage to succeed and conversely necessary for it to fall apart.
Skilled Divorce Attorneys in Tulsa
Making the decision to go through with a divorce can be an emotional experience, but you do not and should not have to go through this alone. At Bundren Law Firm, P.C., we provide compassionate and competent advocacy to help ensure the best possible results in all types of divorce cases. We handle all aspects involved in a divorce, including marital support or alimony, property division, child custody and visitation, and child support.
Contact us today at (918) 992-3300 to schedule an appointment with one of our experienced divorce attorneys.